People who believe in me

The concept of a Self Belief Vessel emerged when I realised the woman I was working with; a beautiful and talented young mother and businesswoman, had virtually no sense of self-belief. All of her incredible accomplishments streamed passed her - practically unnoticed - and slid down the drain because she hadn't learnt how to acknowledge and store them so that they could contribute to her success and satisfaction.

So I drew a vessel with a hole at the bottom (I’m no drawer, so it looked like a big test tube from a classroom lab). I asked her to create a plug for the hole and to write down all of her achievements within the test tube. When she completed this simple exercise, for the first time in her 32 years she was able to see her full glory!!

Bugger. It dawned on me that I’d have to do the same for myself.

At the time I was carrying around a piece of paper signed by “my fans” (family and close friends). The paper was headed: People who believe in me! I created this because I had lost whatever belief I once had after suffering a huge business loss and I knew that without self-belief I couldn't move on.

So (with their love and permission) I decided to borrow it from other people. It was the first time I had undertaken this practice in a purposeful fashion but I could see that I had done this many times before in one form or another. I suddenly recognised that I had been operating for most of my life bolstered (or un-bolstered) by the beliefs others held about me. I soon clicked that this was unsustainable, and undesirable - because it’s unreliable: the client I rely on suddenly changes their mind, the business partner I trust undermines me, the boyfriend I love can't give me attention right now.

Some questions formed; should we see ourselves only as good as the accolades we receive? What about all the stuff we do that nobody else sees? And then, most importantly, could we actually change how we accumulate belief?

Eureka! To live our best life we need to not be reliant of the opinions and fluctuating support of others. If our self-belief is generated inside us, we are free to see ourselves clearly and move as we need to in the world.

Free to be brimming with our own sense of our accomplishments and possibility. What I discovered when I learned to create self-belief, is that I am now able to build my own power. There was a hole at the bottom of the original vessel because self-belief is meant to come from the inside and fill that vessel right up. But how?

Well, I have got some good news, turns out it’s breathtakingly simple (but it needs to practiced daily). It comes down to the way we answer each personal decision that we face in life. (And it doesn’t matter the size of the decision – it can be small, large or in-between.)

The more self-belief you desire, the more you choose your direction based on gaining this element. You reject taking the easy road, you stop focussing on a desired outcome, the belief you need to stand your ground at every turn, the people pleasing, and you ask yourself the question, which choice will build my self-belief…….and then away you go!