Simone'ism on Fairness
It’s apparent to me that a sense of fairness is something we all crave. The howls of anguish that are heard when we don’t achieved it begin at a very early age and the refrain ‘it’s not fair’ seems to travel with us throughout our lives.
It’s my belief that we are not taught how to figure out what fairness actually is all about. We attempt to get there in an eye-for-an-eye or tit-for-tat fashion rather than seeking the deeper understanding that leads to ‘real fairness’.
I have seen myself playing the tit-for-tat fairness game throughout my life. It started with my brothers and the struggle for an equal portion of love and chocolate pudding, and it impacted on our relationships for 20 years. It also included the bullies on the playground and bosses in the workplace.
Unfortunately, our failure to be successful in our quest for fairness climaxes when it comes to the relationships we have with our significant others, as we seek to get an advantage or gain the upper hand. So rather than focus on acceptance, love and unity we’re become consumed trying to right perceived injustices.
So I say, let’s turn this value called fairness on its head.
Take advantage and rivalry out of the equation. Use the need for fairness to begin the quest for unity and acceptance so they can become intrinsic aspects of all our relationships. Use this need for fairness as a signal for understanding and dig until you come to a truth that benefits everyone.
Here’s a quick example of how this can play out. My husband doesn’t care about the state of the house. He’s no slob, it’s just not that important to him. When I see messy, he sees a relaxed environment that’s lived in by a happy family. On the other hand my husband does ‘kindness’ better than me; it radiates from his very soul.
So while I am better at hanging a jacket on a hook rather than draping it on the couch, he is kinder than me. So who’s the truly lucky one here?