Healing a family
This case study is about devastation and healing. The devastation that occurs in relationships when we don’t understand how our mind works, and how we can
heal this when we have a process that teaches us how.
Stats
31-year-old male
Charismatic partner
No children – yet!
Driven to strive
Music lover and envelope pusher
Hurting, but willing to look at himself.
Issues
John and his Dad loved each other, but they were unwittingly sabotaging their relationship.
John didn’t understand what he was doing to exacerbate the situation.
Both were behaving like there was a good side and a bad – rather than two people who loved each other and didn’t know how to fix things.
Objective
Heal the relationship with his father.
Create a new way of measuring his achievements, so John can back and validate himself.
Background
Over the course of his young life, John had a really special relationship with his Dad. He backed John to the hilt and their connection made him stronger and braver.
Then John started to make decisions that his father didn’t approve of. He chose a partner that didn’t meet family expectations and commenced a career path that frightened him.
His Dad, who had been a constant source of support, suddenly became disapproving and strongly opposed his choices. This hurt John and he responded by forming his tribe elsewhere, which meant that his relationship with his father deteriorated even further.
Even though John was experiencing success in other relationships and his career was moving in the right direction, there was a huge sense of loss. The dilemma was, ‘do I choose Dad’s way and sacrifice his passions, or follow his dreams and lose his Dad.
Genius You journey
Often we expect relationships to provide everything we need. The reality is, they can’t.
So the key for John was to learn a new framework of understanding and see things through a new lens. This resulted in him understanding why his Dad behaved as he did.
He could see that it wasn’t a lack of love or desire to support him, it was more about his Dad’s trauma and his unconscious reaction to fear. So John stopped looking for validation, which in turn was an enormous relief to his Dad.
John had a great ability to observe his patterns of behaviour. He began to apply this to others and stopped reacting to them in a negative way and became empathetic.
John did everything I asked, and more. He applied it to every relationship and to his career. He learnt how to harness his emotions and control his thinking, which in turn had a positive effect on his behaviour.
Outcomes
Family relationships – thriving
Relationship with self – epic
He knows how to fix things that used to appear unsurmountable.
Investment
Cost – $1,750
Session commitment – 1-2-hour session every week
Time – 6 weeks
Additional – half of an hour of homework per day.
Conclusion
John is a son who healed his family. His insights and new behaviours have had a positive impact on all family relationships.
John has the freedom to pursue his passions and his family get to experience this as well. He has also learnt how to grow from within and is receiving so much affirmation from others.