Untangling Louise
This case study speaks to the Genius You principle that our raw ingredients are remarkable, it’s the way we learn how we use them that’s the problem.
Louise’s bio
Stunning mum
Personal Trainer
Recently separated
20 years living with an eating disorder
36 years living undiagnosed with ADHD
Objective
To gain control over life, through gaining understanding through a new framework
To have the opportunity to put rules and structure in place
To fall in love with herself
To trust
To believe
To own her own story – not to have it told by someone else.
Background
Louise came to me as New Zealand was locking down. She had separated a year ago and decided to move in with family members to create some stability for her and her children, which would then enable her to rebuild.
Her decision to undertake Genius You was inspired by a friend. Louise saw the friend begin to glow as she worked out how to overcome the stuff that stood in her way. And, in typical Louise fashion she decided she wanted some of that.
Louise was diagnosed with ADHD a year ago. As an adult learning you have this condition can be a relief as you can put a plan into place to deal with it. But it is also devastating as you realise the time and choices that were taken away, and being labelled as dumb, gullible and sensitive, rather than different.
Food became a balm. Emotions of any kind triggered an overwhelming need to eat to the extreme which led to bulimia.
She was stripped of her self-worth to such a degree that she didn’t feel safe in the world. She was drawn to relationships that promised her help and support, but never on her terms.
Issues to address
There was so much chaos and we had to discover the threads, that meant she could gain control.
Each relationship, including with herself, was in a state of flux.
She could be extremely happy and enthusiastic, or absolutely bereft.
An ex-husband could be really supportive, or out to get her.
Work was the most amazing place in the world, or absolutely doomed.
The first thing Louise needed was stability:
ADHD required medication
New relationships needed boundaries
Sugar needed to go, as it brought about binging
Impulsive behaviour and drama needed to be replaced with gentler and safer highs.
Louise needed to understand her own defence system and those of others. She needed to see herself as a hero, rather than a victim. She had to stop searching for others to save her and recognise that she could save herself. And she did.
She used this framework to understand others, to move past words and be able to examine behaviour in order to make good decisions.
Genius You journey
Some people come to Genius You to address a specific problem. It’s a ‘nice, neat package’, but Louise needed a whole of life overhaul which involved ‘making sense of things’ and working on new behaviours.
Instead of seeing highs as being a problem, we developed responses that built her up, rather than taking her down.
The issues that were dogging her life were taken out of the shame category and it was emphasised that they were not a reflection of who she was.
Understanding that her financial position was very much the result of her impulsiveness, resulted in putting a structure into place to manage things.
She understood that her eating disorder wasn’t due to a lack of willpower on her part.
Relationships were based on discerning who she wanted to share her life with.
Louise’s journey was about the discovering her strengths to champion her own and her kid’s needs. And overcoming her hardship gave her the resilience to structure and organise her life.
Outcomes
New home and now totally self-sufficient
ADHD – under control and seen as important part of who she is
Bulimia – managed and openly discussed
Becoming the parent she wants to be which involves teaching her children how to understand themselves.
Great relationships with all family members.
The beginning of a wonderful future.
Investment
Time – 32 weeks
Session commitment – 1 hour per week
Additional – 30 mins of active work per day
Cost $4,500
Conclusion
When I meet Louise, she was filled with half-truths and default rationalisations. These were told to her by important people in her life but also by health professionals; it was confusing and overwhelming.
She’s her own woman, with a heart of gold and the ability to positively impact all those that have the good fortune to meet her.
Her story is one of inspiration about a person who has learnt to nurture the traits that make her the magnificent person she has always had the potential to be.